Rejection, betrayal and the loss of the dream of your future all figure into why it hurts so bad, but there is an even deeper reason. Attachment injury touches you in a primal place making that sudden loss of attachment feel like a physical assault.
You really have two choices. You can close up shop and not risk any new relationship which means that you will be safe but also may miss out on the pleasure of having someone in your life. Or, you can open your heart wisely, taking a chance with no assurances but being willing to expand your life to admit someone else . . .
How can you be both authentic and feel your true feelings while, at the same time, work on cultivating the awareness that although you have lost so much, you still have so much left?
This year, the holidays are going to be a doozie. You not only have to deal with the pain of remembering happy Thanksgivings past when you celebrated with your husband and the family but you also may have to be planning a quiet meal with just the few people allowed in your bubble . . .
Now as I approach another Father’s Day without my dad, I wonder if there are others like my sister and I, adult children of runaway husbands trying to figure out why other divorced dads maintain a relationship with their kids, but our dad chooses to stay absent from us and his grandchildren . . .
When something happens that doesn’t fit the pattern, we don’t let it penetrate. That new odd piece of information just skitters off our brains and we reject it. It takes time for us to be able to let it in, particularly when doing so threatens our sense of security . . .
The trick is to allow yourself to feel the injustice and anger - to feel the bitterness - but to pass through it eventually and develop that zen acceptance at what life has sent your way. So that, in time, you’ll heal and end up better, not bitter . . .
Wherever you are in your recovery, you need to push yourself past your comfort zone. If it’s early in the process, that may just mean getting out of bed . . . each of those little steps is essential to your recovery . . .
It's mystifying when our husbands change from being the loving man we knew for so long into a critical angry stranger. Here's an explanation . . .
Women in our Runaway Husbands community deal with the Other Woman in a variety of ways. Some see her as an evil temptress who preyed on a vulnerable man. Others see her as a bit player in the drama – it if hadn’t been this particular woman, it would’ve been someone else . . .
Many women tell me that they hate feeling so angry all the time but they can't help themselves. They seek revenge and wish they could make their ex-husbands suffer what they’ve been suffering. I was thinking about how to help those women who can’t get out of anger’s grasp . . .
