This year, the holidays are going to be a doozie. You not only have to deal with the pain of remembering happy Thanksgivings past when you celebrated with your husband and the family but you also may have to be planning a quiet meal with just the few people allowed in your bubble. No setting a big colorful table for twelve decorated with a paper fan of a turkey as the centerpiece this year!
Add to that the reality that your husband may be off celebrating with someone else - a real slap in the face on a holiday. You probably can’t corral your mind to stop thinking about him slicing turkey in some other woman’s kitchen, imagining that they’re having a jolly good time while you’re home, maybe alone, with the cat.
And, to add insult to injury, for some reason, the holidays are the time of the year when most runaway husbands fly the coop, so you may also be suffering from anniversary syndrome - the sadness that returns at the time each year when you’ve suffered a significant loss.
What a mess! Believe me, I know how much it hurts. But we’re all in this together so we have to come up with a plan to get you through the day without too many tears. What to do?
Here are three tips to help you cope with the challenge of Thanksgiving when your husband has left:
Don’t let yourself wallow. No matter how grim you may feel, do something a little bit special with the day. It may be a real effort to call a friend and take a walk or to bake yourself your favorite pecan pie, but just do it, even if it’s minimalist. The effort you put into any act of self-care will have surprisingly expansive results, helping to lift your spirit (even a bit). And you’ll feel proud of yourself.
Do something for someone else. Again, it doesn’t have to be big. But that phone call to offer holiday wishes to your elderly uncle or the book you’ve read and enjoyed that you drop off at your neighbor’s will take you out of your own suffering and expand your heart. It will do you good.
Remember what Thanksgiving is all about. It celebrates the first harvest after an awfully hard year for the Pilgrims - a time to appreciate what you’ve got. It’s normal to be focused on what you may have lost, but for a short time on the holiday, turn your mind to all the blessings that you have. You’ll realize that there is still so much left.
I’m thinking of you and sending a big hug. You’re not alone! Inspire us below in the comments by telling what you’re planning to do for the holidays to make yourself feel better.
