If you're a woman struggling to recover from the sudden, unexpected end of your marriage, welcome! You're in the right place.
Is This Your Story?
You believed yourself to be in a happy, secure marriage. Then one day, out-of-the-blue, your husband turned to you and said, “I can’t do this anymore” and just like that, your marriage was over.
From that moment on, your life became unrecognizable as you struggled to understand what happened.
I'm here to tell you that you're not alone and you're not crazy - you're a victim of Wife Abandonment Syndrome.
Wife Abandonment Syndrome is when a husband leaves his wife out-of-the-blue without ever having told her that he was unhappy in the marriage. Following his sudden departure, he replaces the caring he'd typically shown her with anger and aggression. He often moves directly in with a girlfriend, leaving his bewildered wife totally devastated. Although recovery is a struggle, many women find that it forces them to reinvent themselves in positive and exciting new ways.
I'm Vikki Stark and I'm here to help.
I went through it myself when my husband of 21 years left suddenly from our apparently happy marriage. I was devastated! As a psychotherapist, I needed to understand what happened. I conducted the Sudden Wife Abandonment Project in which I heard from women all over the world and was shocked to identify a very specific pattern to how men suddenly leave their wives.
I wrote the book, Runaway Husbands, to share everything I learned including what motivates a man to leave in this way. Then I developed a program to guide women of abandonment and divorce through the painful process toward healing and achieving a new life. Although you may not be able to imagine that you’ll ever feel better, I know you will and I know how to help you get there.
Thousands of women all over the world have benefitted from reading Runaway Husbands and from the programs that I’ve developed for them. Together, we have built an international community of support among women who really understand each other. Welcome to our community!
If your husband suddenly left, you must read these books!
Hallmarks of Wife Abandonment Syndrome
Do you suspect that you’re a victim of Wife Abandonment Syndrome? Here are the ten defining characteristics that will let you know if you are. You don’t need to check off all ten to fit the definition.
- Prior to the separation, the husband had seemed to be an attentive, emotionally engaged spouse, looked upon by his wife as honest and trustworthy.
- The husband had never said that he was unhappy in the marriage or thinking of leaving, and the wife believed herself to be in a secure relationship.
- The husband typically blurts out the news that the marriage is over "out-of-the-blue" in the middle of a mundane domestic conversation.
- Reasons given for his decision are nonsensical, exaggerated, trivial or fraudulent.
- By the time the husband reveals his intentions to his wife, the end of the marriage is already a fait accompli and he often moves out quickly.
- The husband’s behavior changes radically, so much so that it seems to his wife that he has become a cruel and vindictive stranger.
- The husband shows no remorse; rather, he blames his wife and may describe himself as the victim.
- In almost all cases, the husband had been having an affair.
- The husband makes no attempt to help his wife, either financially or emotionally, as if all positive regard for her has been completely extinguished.
- Systematically devaluing the marriage, the husband denies what he had previously described as positive aspects of the couple's joint history.