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"The Hug" by Lauren Goldman

The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal, the new book by Vikki Stark, M.S.W. will help you understand what happened in your life and learn how to use this crisis as an opportunity for a better future!

To order a paper copy of the book through Amazon.com, click here

To immediately download a PDF version, click here

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Reactions from women who have read the book:

Thank you so much for this wonderful book! I experienced a whole range of emotions as I read along sometimes tears, sometimes giggles but a whole lot of head nodding and "Yep, that was him all right!" as I turned the pages. Your book and your website have provided invaluable comfort and support in my journey towards recovery from this life altering event.

Jean from Philadelphia.

I sat down and devoured your book - read it so fast with lots of highlights in yellow! I'm sure I will reread it many times. Lying in bed, out jumped your belief about brain tumour and abduction by aliens. I burst into hysterical laughter until I collapsed in hysterical tears. Those were my exact same thoughts.

Carmella from San Diego.

I received your book and couldn't put it down until I finished it. It is an absolutely outstanding book that has so eloquently portrayed almost to a tee everything that I've experienced in the last several months.

Linda from Sydney, Australia.

PLEASE NOTE: This website is dedicated to helping women who were abandoned by their husbands but it is important to state that wives also abandon their marriages without prior notice, although not at the same frequency. It is also important to highlight the fact that not all men who choose to end their marriage do so in this way.

What we need most of all to recover from Wife Abandonment Syndrome is each other!

Here you get the chance to tell your story to other women who really know what you are talking about. The goal of this "town square" is to provide support and encourage healing for yourself and others. Please feel free to write about your thoughts and experience, but most of all, let's all share the tricks we used to "make it through the night" in the early days, and the wisdom we gained that helped us "bounce back better" when we were further along the road to healing. There's strength in numbers - let's give each other that strength.

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Tuesday, February 05,2008

A suggestion from my therapist

I, too have been trying to understand my ex. I did not have the "ideal" marriage as many of you have said you had. There were problems all along and I chose to try and "change" things rather than read the writing on the wall. I was the primary wage earner, mom, wife, cook, financial advisor etc. My husband played. Needless to say, I either missed all the signals or chose to ignore them because he was certainly doing more than riding his bicycle, kayaking, hunting, skiing, fishing.....the list is endless.

My therapist, for whom I have tremendous respect, challenged me today (Not the first time, thank goodness). She asked me to try and create a room inside myself where I feel completely comfortable being me and then to enjoy the time I spend in that room. She told me one of her clients asked if it would hurt to hang pictures in the room as the room is inside yourself. My therapist told her only if you choose to let it hurt.

I thought this was a great parable and I plan on working to create my room; one that provides me the ability to rediscover my gifts yet allows me to grieve when necessary. If nothing else, my experience has forced me to look deep inside myself and search for what matters to ME. Not to someone who neglected me, cheated on me, gave me herpes and lied about it while I allowed him to use me.

Never again.

Posted by



How do you comment on a topic? I am reading from an iPhone. Also, does anyone know if there is an iPhone app for this site?

Tuesday, February 04,2014


Hi Barb,

There is Barb on this site (has been for many years) and I do not think you are her, right?

You sound amazing and strong. I am sorry your ex "played". Mine did too in a way. That was one of the reasons he was attractive to me.

I love the idea of the room. It should work great, and then eventually the virtual room is your real living room. I have all new furniture and a fireplace- it is mine now. I can be me in it.

I am so sorry for your pain and disillusion and betrayal. It will be alright. You can do it, like you aways did! You are the survivor!
Love. CC

Wednesday, February 05,2014

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