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"The Hug" by Lauren Goldman

The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal, the new book by Vikki Stark, M.S.W. will help you understand what happened in your life and learn how to use this crisis as an opportunity for a better future!

To order a paper copy of the book through Amazon.com, click here

To immediately download a PDF version, click here

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Reactions from women who have read the book:

Thank you so much for this wonderful book! I experienced a whole range of emotions as I read along sometimes tears, sometimes giggles but a whole lot of head nodding and "Yep, that was him all right!" as I turned the pages. Your book and your website have provided invaluable comfort and support in my journey towards recovery from this life altering event.

Jean from Philadelphia.

I sat down and devoured your book - read it so fast with lots of highlights in yellow! I'm sure I will reread it many times. Lying in bed, out jumped your belief about brain tumour and abduction by aliens. I burst into hysterical laughter until I collapsed in hysterical tears. Those were my exact same thoughts.

Carmella from San Diego.

I received your book and couldn't put it down until I finished it. It is an absolutely outstanding book that has so eloquently portrayed almost to a tee everything that I've experienced in the last several months.

Linda from Sydney, Australia.

PLEASE NOTE: This website is dedicated to helping women who were abandoned by their husbands but it is important to state that wives also abandon their marriages without prior notice, although not at the same frequency. It is also important to highlight the fact that not all men who choose to end their marriage do so in this way.

What we need most of all to recover from Wife Abandonment Syndrome is each other!

Here you get the chance to tell your story to other women who really know what you are talking about. The goal of this "town square" is to provide support and encourage healing for yourself and others. Please feel free to write about your thoughts and experience, but most of all, let's all share the tricks we used to "make it through the night" in the early days, and the wisdom we gained that helped us "bounce back better" when we were further along the road to healing. There's strength in numbers - let's give each other that strength.

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Wednesday, May 21,2008

Just wondering

Just wondering if anyone else out there has the situation I'll describe here and if it bothers you as it certainly bothers me.
I don't speak to my ex unless I have to and I limit my conversation to our sons. Recently, he will reminisce about things we did together with the boys or say something about how our older son is so much like my Dad. He's the one that chose to leave and make a mess of all our lives and it annoys me that he wants to reflect on our happy times together or even speak fondly of my family. Does anyone else feel this way or am I being too sensitive?

Posted by
Nancy D



Hi Nancy,
My situation isn't exactly like yours because my husband and I had no children together but I know what you mean. When we do talk on the phone, which is only every 2-3 weeks, he still calls me by the pet names that he had for me. Like "Sweetie" or "Babe" which irritates me to no end. He walked out on me because he said he only loved me like a "sister" and not as a wife, then turns around and moves in with his sister. Which I find ironic. And occasionally he talks about things we've done and happy times we had, then tells me that he loves me so much just not as a wife and what a great person I am and how much he wants us to be friends. Talk about mixed messages! The whole "sister" attitude is just his way of justifying his actions, he pulled the same speech out three years ago to justify an affair that he had. So I understand what you're saying and no, I don't think you're being too sensitive.

Wednesday, May 21,2008


I think that when he tries to use pet names and remember the good times you had before, he's really trying to assauge his own guilt. My ex does the same thing. In this, too, it's all about ego and selfishness. He can't stand to think he is a bad person, or that he's done bad things, so he tries to convince himself by convincing me that he is "a good boy." It's a joke, to be sure.

That's my take on that kind of behavior. I don't take it anymore. I used to just sit silently on the phone. No more of that for me. I talk over him to change the subject back to our son or to end the conversation. He's going to have to find his emotional support somewhere else. I've done my time with that, and it got me absolutely nothing in return!

Saturday, June 27,2009


No you are not being too sensitive. If this is on the phone, maybe you could just hang up on him, you don't owe this person anything.

You are capable of realizing your kids are like whatever relatives you think they are like without your ex. You have the capacity of thinking for yourself and you chose not to leave the marriage.

It is just so gross when all the past crap they did is swept under the house and what are you supposed to be doing, congratulating him on noticing something? Can't he just shut up.

What is wrong with these men!!!!!! It is so sick. He can shut up anytime.

He can shut his mouth, he can.

Monday, June 01,2015

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