Just wondering if anyone else out there has the situation I'll describe here and if it bothers you as it certainly bothers me.
I don't speak to my ex unless I have to and I limit my conversation to our sons. Recently, he will reminisce about things we did together with the boys or say something about how our older son is so much like my Dad. He's the one that chose to leave and make a mess of all our lives and it annoys me that he wants to reflect on our happy times together or even speak fondly of my family. Does anyone else feel this way or am I being too sensitive?
My situation isn't exactly like yours because my husband and I had no children together but I know what you mean. When we do talk on the phone, which is only every 2-3 weeks, he still calls me by the pet names that he had for me. Like "Sweetie" or "Babe" which irritates me to no end. He walked out on me because he said he only loved me like a "sister" and not as a wife, then turns around and moves in with his sister. Which I find ironic. And occasionally he talks about things we've done and happy times we had, then tells me that he loves me so much just not as a wife and what a great person I am and how much he wants us to be friends. Talk about mixed messages! The whole "sister" attitude is just his way of justifying his actions, he pulled the same speech out three years ago to justify an affair that he had. So I understand what you're saying and no, I don't think you're being too sensitive.
I think that when he tries to use pet names and remember the good times you had before, he's really trying to assauge his own guilt. My ex does the same thing. In this, too, it's all about ego and selfishness. He can't stand to think he is a bad person, or that he's done bad things, so he tries to convince himself by convincing me that he is "a good boy." It's a joke, to be sure.
That's my take on that kind of behavior. I don't take it anymore. I used to just sit silently on the phone. No more of that for me. I talk over him to change the subject back to our son or to end the conversation. He's going to have to find his emotional support somewhere else. I've done my time with that, and it got me absolutely nothing in return!
No you are not being too sensitive. If this is on the phone, maybe you could just hang up on him, you don't owe this person anything.
You are capable of realizing your kids are like whatever relatives you think they are like without your ex. You have the capacity of thinking for yourself and you chose not to leave the marriage.
It is just so gross when all the past crap they did is swept under the house and what are you supposed to be doing, congratulating him on noticing something? Can't he just shut up.
What is wrong with these men!!!!!! It is so sick. He can shut up anytime.
He can shut his mouth, he can.