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"The Hug" by Lauren Goldman

The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal, the new book by Vikki Stark, M.S.W. will help you understand what happened in your life and learn how to use this crisis as an opportunity for a better future!

To order a paper copy of the book through Amazon.com, click here

To immediately download a PDF version, click here

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Reactions from women who have read the book:

Thank you so much for this wonderful book! I experienced a whole range of emotions as I read along sometimes tears, sometimes giggles but a whole lot of head nodding and "Yep, that was him all right!" as I turned the pages. Your book and your website have provided invaluable comfort and support in my journey towards recovery from this life altering event.

Jean from Philadelphia.

I sat down and devoured your book - read it so fast with lots of highlights in yellow! I'm sure I will reread it many times. Lying in bed, out jumped your belief about brain tumour and abduction by aliens. I burst into hysterical laughter until I collapsed in hysterical tears. Those were my exact same thoughts.

Carmella from San Diego.

I received your book and couldn't put it down until I finished it. It is an absolutely outstanding book that has so eloquently portrayed almost to a tee everything that I've experienced in the last several months.

Linda from Sydney, Australia.

PLEASE NOTE: This website is dedicated to helping women who were abandoned by their husbands but it is important to state that wives also abandon their marriages without prior notice, although not at the same frequency. It is also important to highlight the fact that not all men who choose to end their marriage do so in this way.

What we need most of all to recover from Wife Abandonment Syndrome is each other!

Here you get the chance to tell your story to other women who really know what you are talking about. The goal of this "town square" is to provide support and encourage healing for yourself and others. Please feel free to write about your thoughts and experience, but most of all, let's all share the tricks we used to "make it through the night" in the early days, and the wisdom we gained that helped us "bounce back better" when we were further along the road to healing. There's strength in numbers - let's give each other that strength.

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Saturday, May 17,2008

Mother's Day

This was my first Mothers Day as a single mom, and I feel that I need to share some of my thoughts.

Last year on Mothers Day, my husband took the kids in the morning so that I could sleep late. He made waffles for us, and there was a bouquet of flowers and a card waiting for me. There was no way on earth I could have foreseen that I'd be celebrating the next Mother's Day as a single mom.

Back then, my younger boy was barely one month old, and my older boy was a very active four year old. I was still learning the art of balancing two kids' needs and was daunted by the prospect of looking after my two boys together for even an afternoon!

Then, in June, my husband announced unexpectedly that our marriage was over. When he first moved out in August, I was in severe shock and I threw up each morning for two months straight. I was in panic at being the sole adult in charge, but I did the best that I could to be strong for my boys. At first, it was like there was a void in the house. Dinnertimes and bedtimes felt strange and empty, as if the very absence of my husband was a loud clanging noise. It seemed a monumental task to smile and stay upbeat even though I was crying inside - but I did it. Slowly, we began anew making our own memories and traditions, and now the house feels again like a home - our home.

Fast forward to this year's Mothers Day. Today, there were no flowers or waffles waiting for me downstairs, but my older son had made the most original card ever! (I'll bet I'm the only mom on the planet with a cardboard carnivorous plant Mothers Day card). My older son woke me up and there was no one else to take over and let me sleep late. I made my own pancakes to share with everyone, then put on a movie so we could enjoy a lazy morning. We went to Heritage Park in the afternoon and rode the steam train and a carousel.

Throughout the day, I had many conflicting thoughts about what was, what might have been, and what the reality is. I'll be honest when I say that I really missed having someone to share in this wonderful day. When I saw my kids' excited smiles, it seemed like such a waste that the one other person on this earth who would have been as thrilled as I was - had decided that he'd rather experience these sorts of moments without me - with someone else who is not their mother. Yet at the same time, I could feel a real sense of accomplishment. Here I was not only handling both kids, but thoroughly enjoying myself. And to think that last year, I would have been terrified of attempting such an outing on my own.

I've worked so hard this past year at making new friends for myself and my kids, at creating special memories and traditions, and in making us feel like family again and not just a threesome with one missing. I've made great friends along the way who have taught me to live my life positively, even in the face of difficult circumstances. When I look at where I am now, I still feel sad at the senseless break-up of my family. I can't say that I've completely moved on, but I can certainly see that I've made many strides in the right direction.

So, as the day closes, I raise a toast to all you single mothers out there - and all you single dads who have to be moms to your kids in the absence of another partner - HAPPY SINGLE PARENTS' DAY!

Posted by


Emma V

Congratulations with your accomplishments!
My first Mother's day as a single parent was difficult, but when your kids celebrate you it makes up for it. This last one was my third. I was lucky to have all three kids with me and we had a nice supper. I got flowers and a gift (earrings) and a very sweet card. I felt special and never even thought about my ex. I have learned to enjoy those special moments and not let them get spoiled by him. I also used to get coffee, breakfast, newspaper, gifts in bed, but no longer and I am ok with it. He now has to work through holidays and weekends to make enough money for his new family, his gf is sick and depressed and is off work. He has problems with his daughters. I have no such issues. I get to enjoy my kids, my job and my house and the sun. I have a clear conscience.I still love him, but he chose this, he has to deal with the consequences. I cried last night for the first time in a long time, it felt good. I had to let it out, I was able to because I was alone.
You have come a long way. Be proud of yourself! You are the greatest!

Saturday, May 17,2008


This was my first Mother's Day as a single parent and my 50th birthday.....I got up Sunday morning to a hallway filled with balloons!! My daughter stayed up all night blowing them up....when she got up, we went out to breakfast and spent the day together...my son called home later that day...I couldn't have asked for more...I was reminded all weekend that I'm surrounded by caring friends and family and that's what is most important in the world...

Tuesday, May 20,2008


PAM YOU MADE ME CRY. that was a fabulous day you must of had, a double header. Your 50th and mother's day all in one. Your kids sound OUTSTANDING..... I also have outstanding kids. And now that my husband of 27 years have walked out one week after my hysterectomy. I also am expecting my first grandchild and he gets to miss the whole shot. My first mother's day alone. I went to the paint store and painted my kitchen this wonder gold color... and I cried a lot. Because I knew the inlaws where having there annual MOTHER'S DAY GET TOGETHER. And I didn't even get a phone call from the out of towners that where in town for it. That is what hurt the most..I also felt like I was kicked to the curb, like a old bag of garbage. I also used to get these pains down my shoulders like I was carry the whole weight of the world on my back.. I hope he will get them now. But you know what, he forgot his extra set of truck keys, so I go to the mall and set his horn off, and If he is there I got to Wallmart... and leave it honking. A.H.. She can have him, cause he is now to broke for me.

Tuesday, February 23,2010

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