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"The Hug" by Lauren Goldman

The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal, the new book by Vikki Stark, M.S.W. will help you understand what happened in your life and learn how to use this crisis as an opportunity for a better future!

To order a paper copy of the book through Amazon.com, click here

To immediately download a PDF version, click here

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Reactions from women who have read the book:

Thank you so much for this wonderful book! I experienced a whole range of emotions as I read along sometimes tears, sometimes giggles but a whole lot of head nodding and "Yep, that was him all right!" as I turned the pages. Your book and your website have provided invaluable comfort and support in my journey towards recovery from this life altering event.

Jean from Philadelphia.

I sat down and devoured your book - read it so fast with lots of highlights in yellow! I'm sure I will reread it many times. Lying in bed, out jumped your belief about brain tumour and abduction by aliens. I burst into hysterical laughter until I collapsed in hysterical tears. Those were my exact same thoughts.

Carmella from San Diego.

I received your book and couldn't put it down until I finished it. It is an absolutely outstanding book that has so eloquently portrayed almost to a tee everything that I've experienced in the last several months.

Linda from Sydney, Australia.

PLEASE NOTE: This website is dedicated to helping women who were abandoned by their husbands but it is important to state that wives also abandon their marriages without prior notice, although not at the same frequency. It is also important to highlight the fact that not all men who choose to end their marriage do so in this way.

What we need most of all to recover from Wife Abandonment Syndrome is each other!

Here you get the chance to tell your story to other women who really know what you are talking about. The goal of this "town square" is to provide support and encourage healing for yourself and others. Please feel free to write about your thoughts and experience, but most of all, let's all share the tricks we used to "make it through the night" in the early days, and the wisdom we gained that helped us "bounce back better" when we were further along the road to healing. There's strength in numbers - let's give each other that strength.

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Sunday, May 04,2008


Loss is hard because, sometimes, there's nothing...nothing at all that we can do to change the facts and we're left to try to accept the unwelcome changes in our lives.It's impossible to be enthusiastic about this. My parents are gone; my husband is gone; my kids have left home and recently my best friend, my sister, died suddenly.She was the one I talked to!I feel stranded. Sometimes I feel on the verge of panic but I'm learning to put away my upsetting feelings for awhile until I'm feeling in better control.It's a conscious effort and it works. Even though it doesn't solve anything, it's a rest for an uneasy mind.

Posted by


Emma V

Dear M,
I am giving you a virtual hug right now.
We do care and listen, so write to us if you want.
You are doing great.You are strong and you will survive. Take only the littlest steps when you are ready. I cannot imagine what it is like to lose your sister. My sister is also my best friend and we stick together like nothing in the world does. She recently had surgery for a hip, and I did think, what if I lose her too? It is unimaginable, but everything is temporary, so we have to accept that even tough we do not want to.
I think all the pain that we have to got through, will happen to everyone, just at different moments. It is like the childhood diseases we had to go through, and like death. There is no escape. Treasure what you had with your sister, hold her imaginary hand when you go to sleep.
You are not alone, you are alone with us.Even you sister is still out there, and she loves you.

Monday, May 05,2008


Hi M,

I just want to say that I'm truly sorry for all your losses. I'd give you a hug if I could, but a virtual hug is all I can give right now...


Monday, May 05,2008


Thank-you both so much for your caring words. I feel selfish complaining when we all have troubles to bear and mine are no more deserving of sympathy than anyone else's.Emma V., you're right that everyone has to go through these things; just at different times. It's a good way of looking at it all.

Tuesday, May 06,2008

Marie S.

Abandoned wife. Recently divorced, after a 2 year process, and $15k in attorney fee's later. The anguish my ex put me through is beyond describing. My ex was brazen about his sexual exploits, and brags about them to me and to his friends. He has no shame. He has no conscience. He is a retired Marine (USMC), and I believe he did have sexual exploits every time he deployed. That is probably why he deployed so much. I lost my father over 10 years ago. The pain of my divorce far exceeds the pain of loosing a parent. My ex put me thru agony, and still is. He is flaunting his new playboy life style. He is a player and is using women. He abandoned me and the kids, and without remorse. I used to see him as a hero. Clearly he is a coward, and immoral.

Wednesday, June 26,2013

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