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"The Hug" by Lauren Goldman

The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal, the new book by Vikki Stark, M.S.W. will help you understand what happened in your life and learn how to use this crisis as an opportunity for a better future!

To order a paper copy of the book through Amazon.com, click here

To immediately download a PDF version, click here

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Reactions from women who have read the book:

Thank you so much for this wonderful book! I experienced a whole range of emotions as I read along sometimes tears, sometimes giggles but a whole lot of head nodding and "Yep, that was him all right!" as I turned the pages. Your book and your website have provided invaluable comfort and support in my journey towards recovery from this life altering event.

Jean from Philadelphia.

I sat down and devoured your book - read it so fast with lots of highlights in yellow! I'm sure I will reread it many times. Lying in bed, out jumped your belief about brain tumour and abduction by aliens. I burst into hysterical laughter until I collapsed in hysterical tears. Those were my exact same thoughts.

Carmella from San Diego.

I received your book and couldn't put it down until I finished it. It is an absolutely outstanding book that has so eloquently portrayed almost to a tee everything that I've experienced in the last several months.

Linda from Sydney, Australia.

PLEASE NOTE: This website is dedicated to helping women who were abandoned by their husbands but it is important to state that wives also abandon their marriages without prior notice, although not at the same frequency. It is also important to highlight the fact that not all men who choose to end their marriage do so in this way.

What we need most of all to recover from Wife Abandonment Syndrome is each other!

Here you get the chance to tell your story to other women who really know what you are talking about. The goal of this "town square" is to provide support and encourage healing for yourself and others. Please feel free to write about your thoughts and experience, but most of all, let's all share the tricks we used to "make it through the night" in the early days, and the wisdom we gained that helped us "bounce back better" when we were further along the road to healing. There's strength in numbers - let's give each other that strength.

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Monday, April 14,2008


Does anybody know about a couple who spit up in a respectful way?

I am starting to think that this is the way men (and women) split up...suddenly run as fast as you can without looking back at the mess....

Why is that?

My ex said he chose between himself and suicide. I believed him, he made me very very sacred. But he was just having fun with his new love, as I understood later (he lied so many times). He told me off when I worried about him and tried to warn his family.

I will never know the reality. But if it was a show, I sure feel like a stupid idiot. He was not worth all my worries. He is not worth my love.

Posted by
Emma V



That's a great question. Prior to being abandoned in this marriage, I had a 10 year marriage to a man that was emotionally numb, like a knot on a log. I shriveled up over 10 years. He was also cheating on me with pornography. It came to the point that I would lie in bed with psychogenic paralysis. Now then, it was no secret between he and i that I was not happy for years. When I came to my end I was thinking suicide also. So when my now husband tells me he has been so unhappy and i can't connect that to his behavior and hand written notes and communication with me, I understand that unbearable pain but can't connect it to 'us'. Honestly, I spoke to someone last night and reviewed the beginnings of my relationship with "A". He was selfish then. I excused it however with the fact that he was a young and struggling Graduate student. I'm going to keep learning about choices that I make. I excused his early signs of selfishness because I saw so much more in this then young man. He has developed into those things...but he is still selfish and the most selfish thing he has done to this point is to abruptly abandon the last 17 years of his life. Good luck and God Bless all of us who are hurting from this and may be all go on to better relationships that feed us daily.

Tuesday, April 15,2008


That's a good question and yes, there are some people that can have good splits. Before I met and married my husband (the one that just ran out on me) I was in a 10 year relationship with someone. The last 2-3 years we both knew it was going to end. We loved each other, but we weren't "in love" with each other. When we finally sat down and talked about it we decided that we would split up. It was all very friendly and we remained close friends for several years after that. He moved out of state and we've lost touch. So yes, it can happen that two people can leave each other without pain but it's rare.

Tuesday, April 15,2008


When my husband of 27 years said he wasn't happy, and was leaving me, he said , "I AM MOVING ON, YOU NEED TO MOVE ON, AND THE SOONER YOU MOVE ON THE BETTER OFF YOU WILL BE.. Needless to say I had just gotten home from having a hysterectomy..When I found out about the two women he had been with I replied.. " YOU APPARENTLY MOVED ON BEFORE YOU MOVED OUT." He also said 'WE DON'T DO ANYTHING ANY MORE.... let me think about it for a min. Oh ya we had gone to Las Vegas in Feb, the year before we bought a boat and camped every week-end, and we even fished together and (GET THIS ) I even cleaned his fish..anyways, he is nuts, and who the hell wants to spend every freaken min with your husband anyhow, Oh ya THE GIRLFRIEND, WELL FOLKS SHE HAS TO, bECAUSE IF HE HAS DONE THIS TO ME, HE IS SURELY GOING TO DO IT TO HER. cAUSE HE WON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE more TO LOOSE....Brenda

Thursday, February 18,2010

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